It Makes People Squirm, and I Wish It Didn’t!



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Stacy, this could be my story

From everything you wrote (except for 2 pregnancies) I was saying "Yes" "This is Me too!". Especially the lack of motivation. It's comforting to know Im not alone in this in the world of accounting.

Elizabeth more than 2 years ago


Right on; Ride on!

Shea O'Neal more than 2 years ago

Family and Depression

Both sides (Mother and Father) of my immediate family suffered from Depression. My mother grew up during the war when Hitler reigned in Germany. She remembered her mother sending her to feed the prisioners. Her brother was hidden in the countryside of Germany when Hitler's men came door to door looking to recruit men. My father on the other hand, joined the army at 19, to get away from his alcoholic parents. Then at the age of 46, he committed suicide. My older brother was 24, I was 21, my younger sister was 17, and then there was my younger brother who was 5. Yes, my family has dealt with these issues too. Both parents are deceased. My siblings and I are survivors it never is forgotten and depression can come back.. Today so much is happening to teenagers committing suicide because of peer pressure. The best thing one can do is recognize it and get professional help. During my parents era, depression was taboo and went undiagnosed. Not anymore, it is everywhere. For those who have it in the familes, be aware and take action before it is too late

Debi more than 2 years ago

True Courage

This was a great story of courage and hope for anyone who suffers from depression, but more than that, I admire your tenacity for writing and posting about a topic that would make most people uncomfortable to talk about in public. You are a true inspiration!

Scott Cytron more than 2 years ago

Don't give up!

My family has issues with depression and bipolar disorder. Cousins have been hospitalized at times. Mom was a Valium addict. Myself, it wasn't until about 5 years ago that my psychiatrist changed my meds one more time, and within 3 days I found myself, amazingly, saying to myself "I think I feel happy?!"
In those subsequent years, I find myself discovering attitudes and habits developed during many years of undiagnosed illness and inadequate meds (not for lack of trying - the knowledge and meds just didn't exist.) Too many times I was told I had nothing to be depressed about, get over it. For me, it got bad enough at times I thought about driving into bridge abutments, or an isolated canal and just disappearing.
I managed to keep my business together enough to feed myself and keep a roof over my head, but I hurt some clients along the way. I can't go back, so I just focus on taking good care of clients now.
I was 55 when I got those new meds, and they're still working today. I knew something was wrong, decided not to have children in my early 20s (that would have been a disaster.)
If you have a story to tell, and you got the right help, you'll probably get the same amazed look from folks I get, and affirmation on my persistance in getting help. If you had suicidal thoughts, you know some of the signs - watch for them in the people you're connected to, come alongside and encourage them to talk to someone. Mental health problems are just as real as diabetes - and just like diabetes, they doesn't go away by themselves, but they can be managed, and life can be worth living.
I hope this helps someone.

Dieneke Heerema more than 2 years ago

Now that's good service

Good on you, Stacy, for making a difference in our community.

Lisa more than 2 years ago

Thank You!

Ms. Kildal, this article really hit home for me, I have anxiety and sometimes panic attacks due to having an underactive thyroid (Hashimoto's) and 5 kids ;). It is truly a challenge dealing with it and am still looking for other outlets, besides medication, to control my issues. This just motivates me to try more active outlets. Again, thank you for sharing your battles and victories with this sensitive subject. Take care!

Maria more than 2 years ago


Thoughts become things... Choose good ones.

PMA (Pos Mental Attitude) = f(increased health, increased relationships, increased attitude)
PMA is a function of....for the math challenged.

Self Talk can make you or break you.

Thanks again for sharing.

George Williams more than 2 years ago


Thanks for sharing this Stacy. I'm sure there are others with the same problem and they will benefit from your courage I. had significant anxiety for years and now control it with a low-dose antidepressant and an anti-anxiety medication if needed.

Karl Irvin more than 2 years ago

Thanks you guys

Thanks to all of you for the incredibly kind comments. Not sure about brave - it's just that I don't understand why it's not talked about more often. Especially when it's an issue where talking actually helps the people suffering! As I'm entering my 10th year of running my business, I'm finding that it's so much easier to do it by sharing experiences, both personal and professional. Again, thanks so much for the comments and encouragement!

StacyK more than 2 years ago

An Inspiration to Me

Thank you so much for sharing this story Stacy. I have a family history of depression and I, myself, used to suffer from panic attacks. You bring up a very good point about others not sharing or talking about the subject. I think in certain professions (accounting being one of the primary ones) we have historically been "taught" about professional presentation and appearance. Certain topics are taboo.

Unfortunately, more often than we probably realize, the need to put up a front has caused more pain and unfortunate incidents to occur. We, as professionals, need to reach out to others when we have a problem whether it's physically related or business related.

Darren Sanford more than 2 years ago

Thank you for opening up to us.

Thank you Stacy. My mother had post partum depression and struggled with life long depression and mental issues. In spite of my outgoing personality, I realized I have this in common with my mother, and that my default space I go to when things get quiet and I"m alone is depression and it's companion loneliness-my life long struggle. Exercise, periods of therapy (success coaches as I call them, because I thrive when I take advantage of therapists), and meditation have helped. It's also why I like to create opportunities for QuickBooks consultants to get together face-to-face so we can help quail some of this depression, loneliness, isolation, and hopefully create bonds and friendships that help us professionally and on personal levels. Thank you for sharing your experience.

David Gutierrez more than 2 years ago


Great article! Incredibly brave, to open up about this subject. I, myself, suffered a massive bout (couldn't really eat...trouble sleeping), once, due to a break up. Neither meds (hated them, but this was decades, ago) or therapy helped. It lasted for about 4-6 months. And, I already had an exercise outlet (avid whitewater in every weekend, every vacation etc...). Maybe that is what brought me out?

Just last night, after a Wednesday of working on various and sundry clients...trying to solve issues, at 7:15 pm I gave up and charged off to a dance class. So, Thursday morning, clear headed, I'm ready to do it, again.

Christy Bertani more than 2 years ago


I totally agree with the exercise idea-and biking is my exercise of choice as well. I live in NE Iowa, however, so it isn't possible to ride outside year round; I put my road bike on a trainer for the winter months. It gets really hard to find the time during tax season, but I am definitely a better person to be around when I can find the time. Thanks for sharing, Stacy, and also Carrie.

Kathy Gunderson more than 2 years ago

Thanks for sharing

It is indeed brave to share vulnerabilities to a group of peers, especially on a subject that is so personal in nature and not one that is normally discussed in a business setting. Thank you for that. And even if depression, or its less obvious manifestations is not an issue, your message about exercise is spot on. And I just noticed your article on exercise.

Thanks for sharing stories of real-life.

David Glantz more than 2 years ago

Thank you

Stacy, this is just another way you demonstrate how to be genuine, authentic, and help others become better. Statistically, there may be >10% of the QBPA community that deals with this. Your authenticity is another way you demonstrate leadership amongst the community. Thank you. Keep it going !

George Williams more than 2 years ago

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